Hey Dollies,
Have you written your vows?
You’re walking down a never-ending pathway where you see your future husband/wife-to-be standing there, all calm and collected. You’ve made it to the celebrant, no tripping – the moment is perfect. You wake up in a cold-sweat, remembering your wedding isn’t for a few weeks and you haven’t written your vows! The perfect dream of a ceremony crushed in one agonizing thought, I have to actually talk in front of everybody…sober.
I know first hand how daunting it is to walk down the wedding aisle, having every single eye in the room on you. There are very few positives on choosing a long, drawn out Catholic ceremony like my husband, David and I did. Granted, St Stephens Cathedral looked stunning in the photos and other than the religious connotations that a Catholic marriage brings, the real stand out is – I didn’t have to write my vows.
Are you agonizing over writing your vows, or is it more the idea of reciting them in-front of your loved ones – specifically the loved one you’re there to marry?
After speaking with a few veterans, it was surprising to find out that many couples chose pre-written vow’s given to them by their Celebrants. While others used the good ol’ inter-webs to find examples of vow’s that other people had written, adding their own spicy personalities into the mix – probably to try and invoke a tear or two out of their other half.
I went onto the proverbial streets (ie. put a Facebook post up on my personal page and tagged all my married friends) and found out what some brides said about writing their own vows.
“I loved writing them! If I could write wedding vows for a job I’d probably do that!! Haha!! Wasn’t nervous to say them but wasn’t game enough to try to learn them by heart” Jess Jaensch
“Ours were just nice and sweet. I was nervous that I wouldn’t be able to pronounce words correctly, but lucky it rained on us as we were getting married – I wasn’t even thinking about it on the day” Katie Gatt
“Was a bit nervous and wished I practiced more but our fabulous celebrant gave us cue cards so it wasn’t hard. I just wish I knew them off by heart so I could look Keegan in the eye the whole time when I was saying them!” Lana Pethybridge
“Struggled immensely!! I wanted to be sincere, but original and I think I even attempted some humour. He said “I do” so they couldn’t have sucked too badly! I don’t cringe when I think back to saying them though, so although I was super nervous, I think it was more the fact that I was getting married that freaked me out as opposed to saying the vow” Kailah Watson
Lets get real. A marriage is the choice a couple makes to unify their love (and register said love with the government). A wedding is the celebration of your love, getting together with your nearest and dearest to say huzzah to the universe for putting you awesome people together. So really, anything you say is going to just make everything better – I guess unless it’s “my Mum made me do this”. Possibly don’t add such brutal honesty into your vows.
After speaking with Roxy Hotten, a much loved celebrant in the Brisbane region, we received amazing behind-the-scenes insights for un-married couples who are agonizing over writing their wedding vows.
When asked for her advice on how to write your vows, Roxy had this to say:
You’ve got the blank piece of paper. You’ve got the pen. You’ve got total mind-blank. So, take a deep breath, pour yourself a beverage (alcoholic or otherwise depending on your preference) and ask yourself the following questions and write down your answers:
- Why do you love your partner?
- How would you describe him/her to a stranger?
- What do they do that makes them different to anyone else you’ve ever been with?
- What do you want to promise them you’ll always do throughout your relationship?
- Do you have some flaws that you will try to improve?
- Do they have some flaws you’ll promise to overlook?
- If in the future you have hard times, what do you promise to always do during this period?
- Where do you see your future together?
- What support will you give them to reach these goals?
- Does your partner have children, or do you already have children together – of the fur or non-fur variety – if so, what kind of parent/step-parent do you promise to be?
I also suggest that both parties send their vows to me if they’re keeping it a surprise from each other so they are of a similar style and feel. It’s also think it’s good to get a second opinion, though in the 200+ couples I’ve worked with, I’ve never had a ‘bad’ one yet!
Click here to see our full interview with Roxy about writing your wedding vows. {Coming soon}
Where Roxy lacks experience with “bad” vows, the Google never fails to disappoint – as long as you know the right questions to ask. To end this blog post, enjoy some terrible vow choices that I chuckled at – man I love research! Remember guys, everyone is looking at you – so don’t muck it up! Just kidding, kind of.
Resources
https://www.shutterfly.com/ideas/funny-wedding-vows/
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